As we prepare ourselves to head into the new year, I was personally challenged on the issue of personal integrity. It isn’t at all that I compromised on the big things that I would typically measure ones character by. It was “little’’ issues that I never really formerely termed “issues of integrity” at all.
It was years, a lifetime of putting everyone else’s desires first. I know…those are the mom traits we say make us “the good ones.” Good moms put their kids first, good wives demand that their husbands needs get met first. Great bosses put their employees needs above their own and good employees seek to make the lives of their co-workers more palatable, even if at their own expense.
The problem with all that is, with only so many hours in a day; if you wear all those hats does that leave time for you? Your dreams, your needs or your desires? The well rehearsed script is that, “One day I’ll put me first or at least somewhere along the top end of the priority list.” One day! Only, as I now approach fifty-one I can tell you that unless you pause, count up the cost and put yourself first now…. One day never really comes!
For many years I’ve made it a habit to take time out to consider the coming year. I ponder on the things I need to shed or detox. I seriously dissect my habits and routines and investigate the areas of my life I need to adjust. As well as take on new habits to coincide with the advancements I’ve envisioned. This year, I was plagued with only one thought! “Follow thru in 2022.” Yup that’s it! Just, follow through!
I’d lovingly spent a lifetime of putting everyone else first. With no regrets I Made sure that I showed those around me how to make money first, while putting my own money making concepts on the back burner. I made a practice of setting someone else up to advance and promised myself to circle back and level up at some point in the next season. It had become a way of life, a paradigm and it seemed totally right and oh so loving!
If you’re like me and you haven’t caught the you bug yet. Your asking yourself, “What’s wrong with that?” Anything less, is selfishness. Taking you off the bottom shelf seems wrong to those of us who are givers, lovers, mothers and friends. We have been taught that doing for others first and most makes us best! Makes us kind and spiritual. Could it be the challenge I was being presented was from God?
That notion seemed foreign! Here I was getting a message to do what seemed, the opposite of loving. However, I knew my loving Father voice and it was calling me, teaching me how to begin to love me! Love myself enough to shift that once beholden paradigm of self denial, to an elevated standard of integrity with myself. Follow through in 22 was about doing the things I have been dreaming of; even if it was just because I wanted it. Following through with taking and making time for the things I desired to create, bake and or make. Time for hanging out with a friend or taking a walk by the water.
It was investing in my dreams and making Sure that my entrepreneurial concepts were given their fair share of time. It was having the standard of integrity with myself that when I said no, I meant no! Without excuse. It was being sure that my yes was yes. With everyone else it was surely yes. With me however, it was a cold maybe.
This year is going to be different! This is as much a declaration, an anthem as it is an invitation to you. This year is going to be the year I examine my own desires, dreams, goals and opportunities. The year I say yes! Yes to me, yes to my plans, yes to try, yes to fail, yes to succeed, yes to joy, yes to dive in all the way and believe that everything’s possible! Yes, to new opportunities and new adventures. Even when they require more of me. Yes, to my desires being worthy of priority status!
I’m learning that the only true stability is framed in self integrity, within me!
Integrity with yourself is the truest sense of wholeness! The highest form of self care and the greatest sense of fulfillment.
So, I know you’re thinking, “What about everyone else?” Well, they too will be taken care of. One thing I know about you miss, is that if you’re reading this Still, it’s because you are a giver. Givers never stop giving. Except to themselves.
My challenge to you is simply this, start living with self integrity this year. When you need a break, take one. When you have a day off, enjoy it without quilting yourself. If you have a dream you owe it to yourself to take a step or two this year. If you hear the voice of your Father whispering in your ear, “ There’s more!” Lean in! Lean in with all you have and follow through!
All the things you’ve been saying, “One day about.” Mark a day on your calendar this year called, “ONE DAY!” Make this the year you live In full self integrity.